“just relax and it will happen”

The dreaded sentence. The sentence that people just throw out there without actually thinking about how it affects the infertile person you’re saying it to. Contrary to popular belief, I am actually a very relaxed person. I may seem busy to most people at times but there are few moments where I’m truly overwhelmed.

Last month we took a cycle break and booked a very last-minute trip to Portugal. I cannot tell you the number of people who made comments like “well maybe now you’ll get pregnant” or, “watch, once you’re relaxed and on vacation it will just happen”.

Well, it won’t and it didn’t.

I decided to use last months cycle as an example and hopefully bring more awareness to infertility. Infertility is a reproductive disease and I don’t know many diseases that can be cured with sunshine and a couple of sleep-ins. I’ve mentioned before that I suffer from Crohn’s disease as well. It’s funny how no one thought to tell me my chronic illness would be cured on my trip. Because that’s not a thing.

I was the most relaxed I’ve been in weeks on our trip. I completely disconnected from work and (most of) the outside world. We went on spontaneous adventures, took in all the sights, ate all the food, got all the sleep I could have wished for and just took it easy. I also ovulated. My fertile window just happened to fall right in the middle of our trip. When I was relaxed. And on vacation. I didn’t even know it until I was walking down the street in Lisbon and started having pains. I checked my app and sure enough it was that time.

We did all the things that we needed to do to conceive while on our trip (not even knowing I was going to ovulate) and surprise, still not pregnant! Well, not surprise to us. We know that what we are dealing with can’t be cured on a beach on the other side of the world. We know that assisted fertility is our only chance of becoming parents.

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Just a couple of cool kids trying to have their own cool kid!

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